Rule #218: Half-baconed
Chill out about bacon! It’s a piece of processed food, not meth.
On second thought, I’ve never heard any meth-heads pine for meth like people pine for bacon. Coffee too, come to think of it. Maybe it’s just the fact that I don’t eat bacon or drink coffee, but man! If I hadn’t already burned out on both as a kid, I’d be too scared to try them now.
On the other hand, if any of you want to be that way about my work, I’ll tie on your bib.
Rule #219: Galty reasoning
You can’t insist America is an anarchy where the best entrepreneur wins, and also be upset that “Obama killed America.” If you believe the first, why would you care about the second?
Rule #220: Typefacing the truth
I want just one downsizing publication to say, “We’re shrinking because costs of ink, paper and salaries are going sky-high at a time when revenues are down.” That’s honest and respectable. All this talk about innovation and better coverage is just patronizing.
Rule #221: Post-Election Stress Syndrome
Republicans deserve to feel the same way Democrats did in 2004. Why? 2004.
Rule #222: God gram
The more someone insists they can speak for God, the more likely I am to not trust them with anything more dangerous than a sippy cup.
No comments:
Post a Comment