A good spanking (no, not that)

More beatings, fewer Beastie Boys.

As many of you know, I'm not a fan of spanking. I think of it as a violent relic and a desperate form of discipline. Too many parents relish spanking for me to not think it's at least partially rooted in aggression transference. "I spank the hell out of my kids. My daddy spanked the hell out of me, and I turned out fine! You got a problem with that?" But then, I'm not a parent, so nobody cares what I think.  

But my opposition to spanking isn't what I find dumb about the graphic above. At least, not entirely. No, what I find ridiculous about it is the example they chose. Those guys aren't gangbangers — they're pathetic suburban white boys, assuming that this isn't a joke photo. For all we know, they're dressed up as the Beastie Boys for a costume party. Assuming they're serious about their look, though, that's just teen rebellion — and from the look of the photo and the clothes, these guys are probably 35 by now. And the shame they must feel from being a bad Internet meme has to be a more severe punishment than a pop in the chops could ever be.

Anyway, who raised this generation? Properly Spanked Little Timmy up there! The baby boomers are kind of famous for being the picture of rebellion from suburban conformity. At least until they became suburban conformists themselves.

If you asked me who here I'd prefer to be stuck with in an alley late at night, I'd take my chances with the Beastie Boys up there. I'm pretty sure I could flash a picture of Ice-T (or Wayne Brady) and scare them off. 

Suburban dad with anger issues? That's who I'd worry about.